In search of rejection

This a word cloud I created using Wordle. I grabbed my book – the whole tamale – tossed it into worlde and this is what came out. The more often a word appears in my book, the larger it will show in the cloud.

If you take a look at the cloud, you’ll know there are games, soccer, parks, friends, and beer in the book. There’s also plenty of trying, things are hard, there are plans, and there are Pirates in New York. And there’s home – the finding of it.

Here’s what’s going on: I’ve written a book and now I’m in the early stages of the torturously slow process of finding an agent. It's going well, but the book business moves at a snail pace.

I’ve queried. I’ve gotten rejected. Twice. But I’ve also queried and gotten requests for more. Twice. I’ve sent more and now I’m trying not to tear the skin off my thumbie as I wait to hear back from them.

I also had an amazing meeting with someone who works on the other side of this – on the book buying side – who gave me great advice and offered me some candy. I grabbed onto the promise of that candy like it was the last helicopter out Saigon.

But I haven’t heard back about that candy and I don’t know when I’ll hear back. I’ve been busy following her advice and working on getting short pieces published and on developing the blog, but I need to move beyond that and start getting things done.

Rejection is hard, but I need to stop being such a wimp, leave the comfort of my couch, and get out there. Rejection is good. Rejection puts me in great company, as this post I read today points out. Getting a rejection doesn’t prove anything but if I’m not getting rejected, I’m not querying enough. And I have to query if I want to find an agent.

The holidays are looming and the publishing industry breaks away from their computers and goes caroling. Which means I need to get my ass in gear.

On my to do list for this week: re-work query, send queries out to agents (at least three), finish a first-person essay that’s been lurking in my computer, and run faster.

My objective for December: to get rejected more!

Comfort Zone

Yesterday I ran the Turkey Trot at a pace that was at least one minute and thirty seconds faster than my recorded pace with NYRR, which is a ton faster that I've ever run before.

As I mentioned earlier, I was running with six friends. One of them wasn't sure what her pace was but it sounded she'd be a little faster than me so I decided to try to keep up with her. Turns out she was a lot faster and though she was gaining on me I was able to keep her within view for most of the race.

It helps that she was wearing a bright top, but what matters is that I challenged myself. When I realized how fast I was going I got scared and slowed down a little but since nothing was hurting or feeling like it was about to break I kept going.

Today my quads and my back are achy but only in that nice way of sore muscles that have been asleep for a while. Not a single complaint from my ankles.

Maybe it's time to stop cruising. Maybe it's time to leave behind the fear of getting hurt, the fear of failure, and reach out for what lies just outside my comfort zone.